I’ll never forget the one time I completely lost it as a mom. Ayva had just turned 2, my job was very demanding, and I was just tired, y’all. One evening, after a particularly hard day, I just couldn’t take it anymore. Ayva was crying (because that’s what babies do), I was crying, and I had to ask my brother to watch Ayva for a few minutes because I really thought the walls in my house were caving in on me. I walked around the block a few times, caught my breath, and came back feeling like a new mother. That isn’t the only time things were rough for me, but it really stands out because it was the moment when I realized that I needed to take care of me before I could take care of Ayva.
Look, Moms love to
try to do it all. It’s so obvious that we have super powers, and that God is truly showing grace to us as we raise these children. You do know, however, that we are still human, right? It’s important to keep that in mind as we work through this challenge. Work, taking care of the kids, school, being a wife, juggling this and that…there’s always so much going on, and it’s impossible for us to plug in to our families without identifying the things that are important to us, the things that we need in order to be energetic, well and engaged.
Day 2 – Mommy’s Hierarchy Of Needs
1. In your notebook, write a list of the top 5 things that you need in order to be a successful mom TODAY. Don’t worry about the future, or things that you will need later on. Right now, just assess where you are now, and what you need to make it through the rest of this week. Are you physically exhausted and need rest? Is your house a mess, and you just don’t have the time to clean it? Are you working long hours, and it’s taking a toll on you? Then put “a restful night’s sleep”, “help cleaning the house”, “free time at home” on the list.
2. Next, prioritize the list. What are the things that are most important and affecting your ability to be an engaged mom? What are the things that absolutely HAVE to get done? You need REST in order to be plugged in to your children. If that’s your #1 priority, then you should eliminate things that prevent you from taking rest (i.e. television, social media, etc.) and get the rest that you need.
3. Once you have your list in order, come up with a plan to meet your needs. That plan might include asking for help, it might mean including your children or your partner, it might mean that you have to let go of some things in your life that are making it difficult for you to have your needs met. I recently just talked to my husband about the need for some “me time” because I’m with Ayva all day long. I need to be able to recharge. I also set some very specific boundaries at work (more on that tomorrow), so I can unplug from my computer and plug in more to my daughter.
All of the work that we do in this challenge won’t be cerebral like this. There will be some fun activities that you can do with your children to be more engaged with them. It’s just important that we set the foundation to be a plugged in Mama, though, so that our interactions aren’t just one off “activities”, but a way of life! See you back here tomorrow for Day 3. We’ll be talking all about setting boundaries!
Read the previous day’s post: Plug In, Mama! Analyzing Motherhood