There are so many reality shows out right now that portray parents raising lots of kids. Lots and lots of kids! “Jon and Kate Plus 8” was our first peek into this world, and now there’s “Table for 12”, “9 by Design” and “19 and Counting”. 19?!!!? AND COUNTING?!!! Wow. Okay, before I go any further, let me just clarify that I’m not against any of these shows. I don’t think Kate’s a bad mom. I don’t think the Dugars should get sterilized. I actually enjoy watching these families, and think it’s cool that their children get to experience all sorts of fun things because they’re on television.
It’s just that…well, I feel kind of discriminated against. I mean, really! What about us Moms who only have one child? Shoot! It’s hard work! If you’re a parent, I don’t have to tell you that, if she’s awake, my 1 year old is moving. She’s taking all of the books off of the bookshelf, dumping the clothes out of the laundry basket, hiding things that are important (like my wallet, or the shoes I wanted her to wear for the day), trying to put things in her mouth that are not food, or, on the flipside, dumping things that are food on the floor. She’s telling me “No!”, crying when I go to the bathroom, drinking my water (because it tastes so much better out of my cup than hers!), and trying to pull my books out of my hand when I’m reading. She’s also giving me applause after I sing “The Itsy Bitsy Spider”, laughing when I do something silly, putting funny things on her head (like a shoe or an empty box, for instance) to make me crack up, blowing raspberries on my cheek, squealing with delight and running to me whenever I walk into a room, pointing out puppies, flowers, and other cool things when we’re walking, and covering my face with lots and lots of kisses!
In a word, she’s PHENOMENAL! I think she and I would make a great reality television stars; she’s every bit as interesting as all 8 of the Gosselin kids, and I’m way more frazzled Kate, and much less organized…we’d be a smash hit! I can just see the audience rooting for me as I chase after the baby to try to change her poopy diaper, and cheering when she actually naps for longer than 15 minutes. They’d cry when I have to get off the bus because I realize that my wallet is not in my purse, but in her toybox, and say, “How sweet” when she tries me to put me and her teddy bear to sleep!
Okay, I like this! It’s all coming together! Now we just have to think up a name for our show. Something catchy, like, “Teeny Toddler Takeover”, or “One Wild Baby”. Oh!! I got it! “The Adventures of Puddin’ and Mommy” . Set your DVRs! You’re not going to want to miss this show!