This is one of the reasons why I’m crying!
I am a crier. I cry during sad movies and commercials. I cry at home. I cry at work. Shoot, I cry at the supermarket if the fruit are looking extra fresh and colorful. That’s just who I am. My heart is connected to my brain is connected to my tear ducts, and so I cry.
The other day, a colleague at work, a woman in upper management, pulled me into a little room (as is her m.o.) to “check” me about something I said that she didn’t agree with. During the course of the conversation, she said something about how “we can’t just go around crying” and if someone came to her crying at work, she just tells them that she’s going to “walk away for 5 minutes and let them get themselves together”. Oh yeah, cold blooded!
Anyway, I say all that to say, tonight, I am crying. I am crying because I feel so blessed and so loved and so content right now. Right this second. This week might not have been all of that, I might not have felt that way even 2 hours ago, but in this very present moment, I am good. This week, I contemplated giving my 2 weeks notice at work. But right now, I am good. Two hours ago, I was overcome with sadness for the man that Ayva’s dad isn’t. But right now, I am good.
I’m good. I’ve accepted the things that I can’t change, and am planning on executing the things that I can. I am taking stock of the things in my life that are good…the things that are great (my beautiful daughter, my sweet boyfriend, my amazing friends and family), and letting the feelings of gratitude radiate through my body and embrace the emotion that comes when a person realizes how blessed they are to even be alive.
So, tonight I cry, and tomorrow, I dry my tears and I fight.