The Waiting Gain

When my fiancé proposed to me a little over a month ago, it wasn’t as if I didn’t expect it. In fact, it was just hours before he popped the big question that I was chatting with my girlfriend about how I had the feeling that he might propose, but he wasn’t acting weird enough for me to be sure. Then, minutes before Valentine’s Day, he asked me to marry him in a simple, yet extraordinary, way. The next day, when I was able to speak again, I asked why he didn’t wait a few more moments until it was officially Valentine’s Day, and he responded that he just couldn’t wait.

He.Just.Couldn’t.Wait.

When a man tells you that he couldn’t even wait a few minutes to propose to you…Honey. It’s a wrap. All of the awkward first dates, all of the relationship games, all of the self doubt that comes from dealing with unfortunate men who can’t recognize a great thing when it’s right in their face, all of that fades to black. The wait is over. Start booking venues, buy your big white dress, and get your husband, Girl! Really, though, hearing him tell me about how anxious he was to propose, and seeing how excited he is about getting married, it lets me know that my patience when it came to meeting “the one” paid off. This guy is the real deal, and I am here for him.

Waiting for the right one to come along wasn’t easy, though. As I watched friends get married and start families in my late twenties, I wondered if I’d be by myself forever. It was during that period of insecurity that I started a relationship with someone who sensed my vulnerability and used that to manipulate me. He was pretty much the worse, but if I wanted to, I could still be in a dysfunctional situation with him driving myself crazy and waiting for him to change. When I learned I was going to be a mother, though, God showed me clearly that he was not worth my time.

Now, I don’t want to fool you all into thinking that I wasn’t pressed about getting married to my guy. Because I was. It’s the reason that I moved to California. I made it clear to him that I wasn’t interested in being a long-term girlfriend. We had a marriage timeframe worked out before I got here, although that still didn’t stop me from nagging him to death about getting engaged. There’s a reason for that, though. By the time we made the decision that I was going to relocate, we already knew (long before that) that we were each other’s good thing. I was determined that vulnerability and insecurity, the things that were the downfall for us in previous relationships, were not going to hold us back from honoring God and ourselves, and getting married.

In a nutshell, I couldn’t wait.

I want that for all women. I want them to meet a man that makes them want to rush down the aisle and into a life of holy matrimony together. I want women to have husbands who are attentive and loving, and make their women feel like all of the relationships and heartbreak from the past were just there to pass the time while they waited. It’s out there. Believe me. Just wait for it.

Read our entire love story. 

Single Mom Finds Love

14 responses to “The Waiting Gain”

  1. theaumsmama Avatar
    theaumsmama

    This is exactly what I wanted and believed for my brother and guess what? I waited, he waited, we ALL waited. The love of his life was waiting, too. Now I’m the one posing a marriage timeframe on them, haha!

  2. Shinika Avatar
    Shinika

    Still waiting and waiting and waiting

  3. Arnebya Avatar
    Arnebya

    I still get stomach flutters sometimes when I see my husband. I like that; it makes me know I made the right choice (especially 20 years later.) We’ll be married 11 years this year. We did things a bit backwards: dating in 93, living together in 96, baby in 2000, house in 2001, married in 2002, more kids in ’03 and ’09. I don’t think I thought he was the one when we met. I liked him, he liked me, we started dating, and that was that. I do wonder what things would be like if I’d let that other girl who worked with us go on a date with him first (she’d had to cancel so I asked him out HA!). I want to believe that we’d have found our way to each other regardless, though. And now? Now I can’t imagine another person getting my dry humor or another person making me have stomach flutters 20 years in. Congratulations on the pending nuptials and for knowing your worth to wait.

  4. Arelis Cintron Avatar

    While I was waiting I crossed off the attributes on MY LIST OF THE PERFECT GUY that I found to be overrated and circled attributes that were a must but it wasn’t until I finally forgave myself and the person who broke my heart the last time I had been in a relationship that “the one” presented himself…literally like hours later :/ #WHEREtheyDOTHAT …saving that story for the book….

  5. Natasha Nicholes Avatar

    I did wait. My husband and I started “going together” when I was 13 and he was 14. Fast forward six years, we were pregnant with our first child and broken up. It took the death of someone that I loved immensely to make me re-evaluate and we learned each other all over again. Now we’re in year six, and have added three more children to our first one from 13 years ago. A total of almost 20 years together, and it’s basically a wrap! He can still get me all gooey with just an eyebrow raise. LOL! Great post!

  6. Caroll BritsHonee Atkins Avatar
    Caroll BritsHonee Atkins

    Wonderful story! When you meet the person that just fits you effortlessly, it is so refreshing and gratifying. Most don’t believe it can happen and that is where they go wrong. We are not in a drought for a good man, we are in a crisis for understanding self. As you said, once you let go of that “not good for you man” you could clearly see the perfect fit. Even though some may say they don’t have a man to let go of, they are just looking for a man, realize sometimes it is something about you that must be let go. I am very happy for you Brandi, you deserve all the happiness that you have so willingly allowed yourself to feel. May it never end.

  7. humorandhoney Avatar

    While I wait, I pray for me and him. I also pray for those who are further along than I am…like you! 😉

  8. Janeane Davis Avatar
    Janeane Davis

    Oh you young girls and love! I am happy for you. The waiting thing is true. I knew I did not want to wait any longer for us to start living together and being a real. He told me he wanted to marry me because he couldn’t wait any longer for me to be his wife. I guess you know it’s real when you have waited long enough and cannot wait any longer to join your lives as husband and wife.

  9. Ms. Pillowz Avatar
    Ms. Pillowz

    Oh wow!! This is beautiful. Congratulations, BIB! I am so happy for you and your gorgeous family!

  10. Renae123 Avatar
    Renae123

    I’m new to your blog so I’m a little late, but congrats on the engagement!
    http://www.edrenae.blogspot.com

    1. BrandiJeter Avatar
      BrandiJeter

      Thank you so much! I appreciate you coming by, too! I’ll definitely check out your blog!

  11. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    I too started dating a guy after I got sick and my father died. He wasn’t the typical guy I would date but he filled a void of loneliness I was feeling dealing with my life issues. Needless to say I was extremely vulnerable and naive by allowing myself to open up to him and fall in love!! Of course he didn’t stick around and he disappeared slowly, leaving me to pick up all the broken pieces of my heart!! I’m resentful and disappointed that I allowed him to destroy me! Well 40 pounds later (the weight I lost stressing over him) I’m left feeling sad and as if my time will never come to start a family and find a great husband! This blog has inspired me to be patient with God’s plan, be patient and forgiving of myself regarding my past relationship failures!

  12. tanyaj Avatar
    tanyaj

    I too started dating a guy after I got sick and my father died. He
    wasn’t the typical guy I would date but he filled a void of loneliness I
    was feeling dealing with my life issues. Needless to say I was
    extremely vulnerable and naive by allowing myself to open up to him and
    fall in love!! Of course he didn’t stick around and he disappeared
    slowly, leaving me to pick up all the broken pieces of my heart!! I’m
    resentful and disappointed that I allowed him to destroy me! Well 40
    pounds later (the weight I lost stressing over him) I’m left feeling sad
    and as if my time will never come to start a family and find a great
    husband! This blog has inspired me to be patient with God’s plan, be
    patient and forgiving of myself regarding my past relationship failures!

  13. Sharelle D. Lowery Avatar

    OMG…..I just cried all over again. Thank you for sharing this and reminding me about REAL LOVE, sis! <3 <3 <3 <3

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