Skip to Content

The Waiting Gain

marriage, black family, family,

When my fiancé proposed to me a little over a month ago, it wasn’t as if I didn’t expect it. In fact, it was just hours before he popped the big question that I was chatting with my girlfriend about how I had the feeling that he might propose, but he wasn’t acting weird enough for me to be sure. Then, minutes before Valentine’s Day, he asked me to marry him in a simple, yet extraordinary, way. The next day, when I was able to speak again, I asked why he didn’t wait a few more moments until it was officially Valentine’s Day, and he responded that he just couldn’t wait.

He.Just.Couldn’t.Wait.

When a man tells you that he couldn’t even wait a few minutes to propose to you…Honey. It’s a wrap. All of the awkward first dates, all of the relationship games, all of the self doubt that comes from dealing with unfortunate men who can’t recognize a great thing when it’s right in their face, all of that fades to black. The wait is over. Start booking venues, buy your big white dress, and get your husband, Girl! Really, though, hearing him tell me about how anxious he was to propose, and seeing how excited he is about getting married, it lets me know that my patience when it came to meeting “the one” paid off. This guy is the real deal, and I am here for him.

Waiting for the right one to come along wasn’t easy, though. As I watched friends get married and start families in my late twenties, I wondered if I’d be by myself forever. It was during that period of insecurity that I started a relationship with someone who sensed my vulnerability and used that to manipulate me. He was pretty much the worse, but if I wanted to, I could still be in a dysfunctional situation with him driving myself crazy and waiting for him to change. When I learned I was going to be a mother, though, God showed me clearly that he was not worth my time.

Now, I don’t want to fool you all into thinking that I wasn’t pressed about getting married to my guy. Because I was. It’s the reason that I moved to California. I made it clear to him that I wasn’t interested in being a long-term girlfriend. We had a marriage timeframe worked out before I got here, although that still didn’t stop me from nagging him to death about getting engaged. There’s a reason for that, though. By the time we made the decision that I was going to relocate, we already knew (long before that) that we were each other’s good thing. I was determined that vulnerability and insecurity, the things that were the downfall for us in previous relationships, were not going to hold us back from honoring God and ourselves, and getting married.

In a nutshell, I couldn’t wait.

I want that for all women. I want them to meet a man that makes them want to rush down the aisle and into a life of holy matrimony together. I want women to have husbands who are attentive and loving, and make their women feel like all of the relationships and heartbreak from the past were just there to pass the time while they waited. It’s out there. Believe me. Just wait for it.

Read our entire love story. 

Single Mom Finds Love

Sharelle D. Lowery

Saturday 14th of February 2015

OMG.....I just cried all over again. Thank you for sharing this and reminding me about REAL LOVE, sis! <3 <3 <3 <3

tanyaj

Monday 29th of April 2013

I too started dating a guy after I got sick and my father died. He wasn't the typical guy I would date but he filled a void of loneliness I was feeling dealing with my life issues. Needless to say I was extremely vulnerable and naive by allowing myself to open up to him and fall in love!! Of course he didn't stick around and he disappeared slowly, leaving me to pick up all the broken pieces of my heart!! I'm resentful and disappointed that I allowed him to destroy me! Well 40 pounds later (the weight I lost stressing over him) I'm left feeling sad and as if my time will never come to start a family and find a great husband! This blog has inspired me to be patient with God's plan, be patient and forgiving of myself regarding my past relationship failures!

Guest

Monday 29th of April 2013

I too started dating a guy after I got sick and my father died. He wasn't the typical guy I would date but he filled a void of loneliness I was feeling dealing with my life issues. Needless to say I was extremely vulnerable and naive by allowing myself to open up to him and fall in love!! Of course he didn't stick around and he disappeared slowly, leaving me to pick up all the broken pieces of my heart!! I'm resentful and disappointed that I allowed him to destroy me! Well 40 pounds later (the weight I lost stressing over him) I'm left feeling sad and as if my time will never come to start a family and find a great husband! This blog has inspired me to be patient with God's plan, be patient and forgiving of myself regarding my past relationship failures!

Renae123

Thursday 11th of April 2013

I'm new to your blog so I'm a little late, but congrats on the engagement! www.edrenae.blogspot.com

BrandiJeter

Wednesday 17th of April 2013

Thank you so much! I appreciate you coming by, too! I'll definitely check out your blog!

Ms. Pillowz

Monday 25th of March 2013

Oh wow!! This is beautiful. Congratulations, BIB! I am so happy for you and your gorgeous family!