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The One That Got Away

I thought he was The One. My soulmate, my future, the one I could be with forever. There were only a few problems. He was aloof and noncommittal. He rarely made me feel beautiful or desired. Oh, and he broke up with me for another woman. Even still, for years, I thought of him as the one that got away.
It’s funny how time changes the memory of things. Everything from childbirth to that awkward first date gets tinted in a shade of pink as days turn into weeks turn into months and years. Although our memories may fade, though, reality stays the same, and that’s why I’m thankful for the finality of words, particularly written ones.
“It’s my birthday, and he didn’t even call.”

“He was supposed to come and visit and he never even called to say he wasn’t coming.”

“I’m starting to think he’s ashamed of me.”
Journal entries from years ago. Pages and pages devoted to a man who didn’t value me. Upbeat positive entries when he felt like showing me love, confused and frustrated entries every other (most of the) time. When I was in the relationship, I was too caught up to recognize I needed to get out of it. When the relationship ended, I was so busy that I didn’t really take the time to reflect on the bullet that I’d just dodged. By the time I got around to assessing the memory of “us”, time had already infiltrated my thoughts, and all that was left were the good times.
Until this weekend. 
While I was packing up my house to move for my actual “The One”, I found old journals and began to relive that old relationship. As I read, I realized that all of the blame that I’d placed on myself about why things didn’t work out…they weren’t true. Things didn’t work out because he didn’t want them to work out. I didn’t let him get away. He left on his own.
I think that’s true with most relationships. Unless you’re cheating, or you’re not communicating, or you’re a complete bitch, there’s no reason that begging someone to stay with you should be a part of your “make this relationship work” plan. It’s impossible to let someone get away who doesn’t want to go. Now, my memories are more rooted in truth, and I made a huge realization. He wasn’t the one that got away from me, I’m the one that he should have fought to hold onto.

This post was inspired by a prompt from the weekly Shades of Social Media Link Up. I  asked the group to write about “The One That Got Away”.