As a new single mom three years ago, I mistakenly thought that I had to do everything for Ayva. I was never away her. She went to daycare in the same building that I worked in, so they called me when she was hungry and I went down to nurse her. I don’t think she ever really had to drink from a bottle. Besides being a human food truck, I didn’t go anywhere without her. Having a party after 6 PM? Sorry, I can’t make it…I have a baby. The thought of a babysitter never even crossed my mind. If I couldn’t strap her on me and take her with me, it wasn’t happening. As time passed and Ayva grew older (and too big for the baby carrier!), it started to become obvious that I would need to find a way to balance being her mother with being myself.
That transition wasn’t easy, and I’ll admit, the idea wasn’t my own. Family and friends were (correctly) concerned that I was losing myself completely, and they insisted that I take time off from being “Mommy”. They offered to babysit, gave me gifts of money with very specific instructions about how I was to spend it to do something for myself. Most importantly, they reminded me of the other things in life that I was passionate about besides my Ayva.
Slowly, slowly, I started coming back to myself, and began to learn how to balance motherhood with womanhood. Sharing the responsibility of parenting Ayva with other responsible adults in her life, accepting that I can’t do it all, and asking for help when I need it are just a few of the things that I had to learn how to do in order to achieve harmony in my life.
Also, recognizing that life shifts daily, so my efforts and attention will need to adjust accordingly, has been very beneficial to me as I work towards a balanced life. Maybe I’m not doing everything anymore, but I think everyone benefits from a more balanced me…especially me!
How do you balance motherhood with womanhood? Or work with home? Or awake with asleep? Ha!
Three-time Grammy® award-winning gospel duo Erica and Tina Campbell are always seeking balance, and share their journey in Season 2 of WE tv’s hit series Mary Mary. MARY MARY premieres Thursday, December 6 at 10|9c and moves to its regular timeslot on Thursdays at 9|8c, beginning December 13. Watch a sneak peek here!
This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of WE tv. The opinions and text are all mine.