Today marks 6 months of being married. Six whole months.
My husband and I will only be newlyweds for a little while longer, then we’ll take our place as wise old wedded folks, giving unsolicited advice to the newly betrothed.
We received a lot of tips before our big day.
Of course, now that I’ve been legally boo’ed up for half a year, it’s my turn to start giving back, using my own experience with marriage, and telling the new newlyweds what’s up!
Check out pictures from our wedding day!
Focus on getting to know your spouse
I spent the most time during this first six months truly getting to know my husband.
There is no book, relationship expert, or video series that would be able to give me the specific information to always make sure my husband feels loved.
I have be observant, engaged, and curious about my spouse, not some “hypothetical husband”.
Just like I wouldn’t want my husband to cater to the needs of a woman whose needs are different than mine, I shouldn’t cater to the needs of some textbook man.
No two men are the same.
Push away any self doubt that might come up
When I was single, I read all sorts of books and articles that said if a woman wanted to get married, she should know know how to cook, have a stable job, don’t ask for much, be fit and in shape.
Some of those outdated beliefs come up in new marriages, but I’ve been pushing negative thoughts like that away.
You know why?
Because none of that matters if the man is truly for you.
I cook, but I’m not a chef.
There are some things I make really well, and dishes where I struggle a bit.
Still, my husband would chow down on dry chicken if I made it because he can still recognize my effort.
He loves me for me. He is truly for me.
And I don’t want to forget that.
What matters most as newlyweds
The main thing that I’ve learned in my new marriage is that a commitment to the relationship, a strong foundation, and communication are the things that matter the most.
Marriage is one of the best things that has happened to me.
My husband, in particular, is one of the best things that has happened to me.
While neither one of us is perfect, we are perfect for each other.
I can’t think of anything else that I’d rather do than spend the rest of my life with him and my children by my side.
Samantha Mallory Allen
Wednesday 17th of September 2014
Congrats on your marriage! I'm a 9-month newlywed and was wondering when I would be qualified to hand out marriage advice lol. But this is great advice and certainly rings true as far as my experience goes. I can cook a little somethin' somethin' but every other night is an experiment and I praise God for my husband and his willingness to be a taste tester lol. I had a terrible job and making pennies when we got married but he was willing to carry the financial load until I (hallelujah) found a better job. I surely didn't own a home....I was barely making rent on my tiny apartment lol. And the list goes on.....but when God ordains a marriage and you make the daily choice to be together, those things don't matter. Like you said, you will work on them together.
Monday 17th of March 2014
I don't like the idea of people saying that you have to give up your dreams when you meet a guy. I love the fact that Danny supports me with anything I want to do! It's one of the reasons why I said yes when he asked me to marry him. If he's not supporting you as a boyfriend, he's probably not going to do it when he's your husband either.
Thanks for sharing what you've learned so far!