As moms, one of the most important conversations we’ll have with our children is about puberty—a time of significant physical and emotional changes that can feel overwhelming for both kids and parents. This stage of life marks the transition from childhood to adolescence, and while it can be daunting, it’s also an opportunity to build trust, understanding, and openness with your child.

“The Talk” doesn’t have to be a one-time, nerve-wracking event. In fact, it’s better to approach the topic of puberty through a series of age-appropriate conversations that evolve as your child grows. By starting early and fostering an open, supportive dialogue, you can help your child feel more prepared for the changes ahead and develop a healthy relationship with their body and emotions.

This guide will offer caring, loving tips to help moms of all kinds prepare their kids for puberty—whether they’re in the early stages or on the cusp of adolescence.

1. Start Early and Keep It Simple

You don’t have to wait until your child is a pre-teen to start talking about body changes. In fact, it’s better to begin early—when they’re still young and curious about their bodies. This helps normalize the conversation about body development and paves the way for more in-depth discussions later on.

For young children (around 4–7 years old), you can keep the conversation simple and focus on basic information like naming body parts correctly and explaining how bodies grow and change over time. You can say things like, “As you get older, your body will grow bigger, and one day, you’ll go through some more changes like getting taller and having stronger muscles.”

Using correct anatomical terms from an early age—like “penis,” “vulva,” “breasts”—can help destigmatize these words and encourage healthy body awareness.

2. Focus on Positive and Reassuring Messages

Puberty can feel overwhelming for kids, especially if they’ve heard about it from friends or media. It’s important to reassure them that what they’re experiencing is completely normal. Emphasize that everyone goes through these changes, and it’s a natural part of growing up.

For example, when talking about menstruation with your daughter, you might say, “Getting your period is a sign that your body is healthy and growing. It might feel strange at first, but we’ll make sure you’re prepared when it happens.”

Similarly, when explaining to your son about voice changes or hair growth, you can remind him that it’s a natural process and part of becoming a young adult: “Your voice might crack, and you’ll start to grow more hair on your body, but this happens to everyone as they go through puberty.”

Framing these changes positively can help your child feel more confident and less anxious about the unknown.

3. Create an Open and Safe Space for Questions

Kids will naturally have a lot of questions about puberty—some that might surprise you! The key is to create a safe, non-judgmental environment where they feel comfortable asking anything that’s on their mind.

Let your child know that no question is off-limits, and you’re always there to provide answers. If you don’t know the answer to a question, it’s okay to say, “That’s a great question! Let’s find the answer together.” This teaches your child that it’s okay not to have all the answers right away, and it fosters a healthy curiosity about their body.

If your child seems hesitant to ask questions, you can start by prompting them with simple, open-ended ones like, “How do you feel about the changes we’ve talked about?” or “Is there anything that’s confusing or makes you nervous?”

4. Tailor the Conversation to Their Age and Maturity Level

As your child grows, the conversations about puberty should become more detailed and tailored to their level of understanding. For younger kids, you might focus on basic body changes, but as they approach adolescence, you can introduce topics like sexual health, emotional development, and personal hygiene.

For example, around ages 8–10, you might start talking about the specifics of menstruation, erections, or mood swings. As they get closer to their teen years, you can gradually expand the conversation to include topics like romantic relationships, consent, and how to navigate peer pressure.

Remember to meet your child where they are in terms of maturity. Some kids might be ready for more detailed discussions earlier, while others may need more time to adjust to the idea of puberty. Always let your child set the pace.

5. Use Books, Resources, and Visual Aids

Sometimes, it can be helpful to use books, educational videos, or diagrams to explain puberty to your child. This can take some of the pressure off of you and give your child the chance to explore the topic in their own time.

There are plenty of age-appropriate books that cover the subject of puberty in a relatable and engaging way. For younger children, books like It’s Not the Stork or What’s the Big Secret? offer simple, clear explanations of body changes. For older kids and tweens, books like The Care and Keeping of You (for girls) or Guy Stuff: The Body Book for Boys are great resources that provide practical information.

You can also watch educational videos together or visit trusted websites that offer information about puberty, such as KidsHealth or Planned Parenthood. Visual aids, like diagrams of the reproductive system, can help explain complex changes in a straightforward way.

6. Talk About Emotional Changes

Puberty isn’t just about physical changes; it’s also a time of significant emotional development. Your child might experience mood swings, feelings of self-consciousness, or a heightened sense of independence. Helping your child understand these emotional shifts is just as important as discussing physical changes.

Explain to your child that it’s normal to feel a range of emotions during puberty—sometimes happy, sometimes frustrated, or sad—and that these feelings are a result of hormonal changes in their body. Encourage them to express their emotions openly and let them know it’s okay to talk about how they’re feeling.

Example: “During puberty, you might feel more emotional than usual, and that’s totally normal. It’s okay to feel angry or sad sometimes, but I’m always here if you want to talk about what’s going on.”

This is also a good time to introduce the concept of self-care, whether it’s managing stress through mindfulness or practicing good hygiene to feel more confident in their changing body.

7. Teach Consent and Respect

As your child enters adolescence, it’s crucial to talk about boundaries, consent, and respect—both for themselves and others. Explain that as they grow older, they’ll start to have more control over their body, and it’s important that they understand the value of personal boundaries.

Teach them that their body belongs to them, and they have the right to say no to anything that makes them uncomfortable. Similarly, explain that they must also respect other people’s boundaries and seek consent in all interactions.

You can keep this conversation simple for younger children: “If someone asks for a hug and you don’t want to, it’s okay to say no. Your body is your own.”

As they grow, you can introduce more detailed discussions about relationships, peer pressure, and how to navigate social situations with respect and care.

8. Be a Source of Ongoing Support

Lastly, remind your child that puberty is a journey, and you’ll be there every step of the way. Let them know that you’ll continue to support them as they grow and that they can always come to you with questions or concerns.

It’s also important to check in regularly and update the conversation as they move through different stages of puberty. These ongoing discussions help build trust and ensure that your child feels equipped to handle the changes they’re experiencing.

Final Thoughts

Having “The Talk” about puberty doesn’t have to be a stressful experience. By approaching the topic with love, patience, and openness, you can create a supportive environment where your child feels confident and informed. Remember, this is just one part of their growth journey—and with your guidance, they’ll navigate it with greater ease and understanding.