The other night, I had a dream that I gave birth. It was weird because I was pregnant, then my water broke, and the baby slid right out. Which never happened to me. Except for the pregnant part. I had a c-section, so my water never broke, and Ayva was lifted out of me. Anyway, it seemed so real. It wasn’t traumatic, just real matter of fact.
I’ve been thinking about what that dream could mean since I had it. I thought maybe it was something about birthing an idea or giving birth to something rather than someone. I had no idea what that dream was trying to tell me…if anything. Early today, though, one of my best friends wrote me an email about the challenges in our friendship…some personal flaws that I never really acknowledged. It was really a wake up call for me about the way that I deal with some things in my life (by not dealing with them sometimes), and how I project that same attitude onto my friends.
I had a huge epiphany today. About myself and being authentic. About my friends and how much I really do value them. About my relationships and my fear of being rejected. About my insecurities and my strengths and my weaknesses and on and on. It was like waking up. Seriously, I had kind of checked out of real life and didn’t even know it. But I feel alive now. I feel like I was just born. So, maybe that’s what the dream was about.
Oh, maybe the dream had something to do with my best friend that sent the email…she’s pregnant.