This parenting thing is something else, huh? As soon as I start to get used to things and feel like I’ve got being a mom under control, it’s time to shift gears and learn something new. Our new thing is looking for a kindergarten for Ayva. Just a couple of years ago, I was stressing out about choosing a preschool, and now kindergarten? Already. What’s next? College applications?
Gosh, it’s crazy! I can remember every single detail of the day she was born. I’ll never forget how it felt to nurse her and the way she looked at me like I was the only person in the entire universe. I can still physically recall the sense of a love greater than any other thing I had ever felt in life. I have a video of the first time she crawled, and pictures of the absolutely adorable little faces that she used to make whenever she experienced something new. And now, my baby is getting ready to go to kindergarten next year.
I’m sure all mothers go through this when their first child gets to this milestone. We start to reminisce, and, if you’re me, you start to worry that things are going so fast, and maybe you aren’t recording enough of the memories. I want to slow things down, but at the same time, I’m enjoying this perfect time with Ayva. I can’t wait to see who she turns into as she gets older, but I want nothing more than to have her sit on my lap and let me snuggle her. Why can’t I have it all?
Since time won’t stop, and since the inevitable will happen, I’m making the decision to embrace this time. This “not quite a baby”/”not quite a big kid” space is so sweet and filled with an incredible amount of discovery for both me and Ayva. She is pushing me to be more present and aware, and I am pushing her to challenge herself and celebrate being a Big Girl. We are shifting gears, definitely, but we’re still cruising along and enjoying this ride through life with each other. I couldn’t ask for a better girl to ride along with.