The last few months have been really crazy in our house. From Ayva starting kindergarten to leaving my job, losing my stepmother, finances being tight due to starting a business (as well as unexpected expenses), and everything in between, I haven’t been feeling like “The Best Mom” that I vowed to be this year. Fortunately, Ayva is incredibly resilient, and Terrence is the best dad ever, so we’ve been making it through. As I prepare to unplug for the holidays and regroup and refocus my energies into my family, I revisited some of the posts that I wrote earlier this year with my writer mom friends. I’m reminded by these pieces that motherhood is always changing. It’s never ever (ever!) exactly the way we picture it in our heads.
Tonight, I surprised Ayva by doing a manicure for her. It wasn’t the Nutcracker play that I wanted to take her to but couldn’t because expensive last-minute airplane tickets to see my dying stepmother were more important at the time. It wasn’t the afternoon of baking homemade cookies that I’d planned to do before Christmas, but it’s taken me a lot longer than I expected to get back into the swing of things. It was, however, good enough to have Ayva smiling the entire time I polished each and every one of her little nails. It was enough to make her squeal (literally) when she looked at her glittery nails and proclaim, “Getting my nails done is my favorite thing ever!” It wasn’t what I had planned for my “perfect mom and daughter Christmas break dates) to be like, but it was just right for my girl. Not only that, but it reminded me that I am enough, and that Ayva needs me to know that.
Things are bananas for everyone right now, but Mamas, just remember that this is part of the blessing of motherhood. Just do what you can through the chaos, remember that every moment doesn’t have to be a big moment, and breathe. Don’t forget to breathe.
Want to read the stories in my Naked Mom series? Please let me know if any of them resonate with you!