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Me, Mattering More.

mama knows it all, matter more
People that know me, and who have known me for any amount of time, are used to me having one crazy brilliant idea after another.  I’ve posted about this before.  Dozens of notebooks filled with preliminary thoughts for the next great novel, rough drafts of business and marketing plans, dreams, goals…everything one would need if they were getting ready to start something grand.  
Sometimes, that grand thing does get accomplished, and I feel really fantastic and pumped and ready to move to the next thing.  Sometimes, I start and don’t finish.  Sometimes, I never get started at all.  I used to beat myself up over the latter two, the not starting, and the not finishing.  Now, however, after months of  some really powerful prayer and some hardcore soul searching (okay, and a professional personality test), I’m starting to learn more about why I make (or don’t make) certain moves.  I’m beginning to understand what’s holding me back, and finally, most importantly, I’m getting a more clear understanding of how I can be exactly who I am, and make a difference in the world.  
Here’s the thing. My early life wasn’t exactly a model for stability.  I went to 10 different schools from kindergarten to the 12th grade.  My mom wasn’t around for me from the age of 7 until I was 18, and then, from a few years ago until now.  My dad and I…well, we are taking it one day at a time.  What I’m trying to say is, I didn’t have a safety net to be able to fearlessly give my goals and ideas and dreams a shot. Not to mention that trying something different, doing something new, is scary.  Oh, and there was the thought of failure, too.  I didn’t want to put myself out there and not succeed!
As I got older, I stopped worrying about the fear of failure.  I’m not scared to fail.  I’m not afraid to make moves on my ideas and then admit that they don’t work, or they need more work, or it’s just not something that I want to do. I don’t care what people think of me. I just want what I do, anything I do, everything I do, to matter.
So, that’s why, with $100 seed money from a dear friend, a site that’s still months away from being  completely designed, a tentative business plan, and a lot of faith, I’ve started Matter More Media.  I’m going to take my years of experience serving in the non-profit sector, and everything I’ve learned through blogging and social media, and spread the news of do-gooders around the country.  My goal is to also work with small non-profits as a consultant, running social media campaigns and providing affordable marketing solutions to support whatever goals they have, whether it be fundraising, or just raising awareness.
Yup, another idea. Another try.  Another chance to overcome the challenges of my youth and to do something better, to do something more.  
I don’t want to just exist in this world. 
So, safety net or not.  Failure or not.  Stability or not, I’m jumping in.  It’s time for me to make my life matter more.