I always knew what kind of mother I wanted to be. My goal from day one of motherhood was to be a loving, attentive, and supportive friend to my daughter. I know some parenting experts suggest that you’re not supposed be your child’s friend, and that you can’t be an effective parent and a good friend at the same time. I absolutely disagree. I’ve seen firsthand many occasions where a mom being a close confidante and companion to their child has influenced them to be more secure and happy. My stepmother and my sister, my aunts Carmen, Adrienne, and Resa to my cousins Chaniqua, Shalaine and Natalie, and my grandmothers to all of their children have proved over and over again that motherhood and friendship do mix, and in lovely and beautiful ways.
One mother in particular, my mother-in-law, Ms. Mary, is a shining example of what it looks like to balance parenting with friendship, and she’s totally my mama inspiration. I lived with my dad for most of my life growing up, so my interactions with my own mom were limited to brief visits in the summer and during holidays. We didn’t spend enough time together for me to pick up many maternal lessons from her. Fortunately, when I had Ayva, my mama instincts kicked in. Now that we’re getting into the more critical stages of parenting, I’m thankful to have Ms. Mary in my life to guide me through and help a sista see the light!
She’s Like A Mother To Me
From the first time I met my mother-in-law, she has been a wonderful friend to me. She’s always been a great friend to my husband. He talks to her all of the time, but I’m not jealous. I get it. I love talking to her, too. Not only is she wise and good at being a comforter, she’s also witty and loves to laugh, so it’s a joy to chat with her. I think what I love about her the most is her ability to tell the truth in a way that is completely open, but loving at the same time. I always leave conversations with her feeling like I had been heard. She is like a mother to me. She’s also a friend. How awesome is that?
Although she’s much younger than my grandmother was, Ms. Mary has a lot of the same characteristics that made my grandmother my very best friend. I think that’s why I’m drawn to her. Ms. Mary as Ayva’s grandmother helps ease some of the hurt that I have in knowing that Ayva will never get to meet my grandmother who passed away while I was pregnant with her. Ms. Mary helps fill the void, and I’m incredibly thankful that she’s in Ayva’s life. Seeing Ms. Mary and Ayva together, cracking jokes and trying out new foods (their favorite things to do) makes my heart so happy! It also makes me want to give myself a pat on the back for making the choice to marry a man with an awesome mama! Ha!
Put Your Heart To Paper
This Mother’s Day, I’m sharing my love and appreciation of the mother in my family’s life, Ms. Mary. As the saying goes, “Don’t wait until someone is gone to give them their roses”, and we’re not going to. We’re going to give them to her now for all that she does for us everyone that she meets. As we get older and get engrossed with our own children, it’s easy to forget about the folks who are parenting us, even as adults. With Ms. Mary, I don’t have to be the mama. I get the great blessing of being a daughter who is supported and loved.
She is our blessing.
Who is your Mama Inspiration? Which Mama is your blessing? Even if you don’t know the exact words to say to that woman, Hallmark can help you to put your heart to paper. There are cards for all moms that say exactly what you want to say. Take a look at these beautiful videos of folks showing appreciation for their parents to be inspired. Give the special mom in your life her roses now, while she can appreciate them. If she’s anything like Ms. Mary, she deserves it.