How To Wash A Black Girl’s Hair

There are so many things that folks forgot to tell me about parenting a daughter that I only learned after my daughter was born.

One of the biggest pieces of information that would have been super awesome to know ahead of time was how to wash a little Black girl’s hair. 

My daughter’s hair is so beautiful! It’s thick and coily, but quite manageable. 

It hasn’t always been easy to manage, though. 

It took years of trial and tears, but we finally have a simple wash day method that works for us.

I saw a licensed hairdresser tweet out a simple hair washing should be simple, and this is what we came up with.

Both my children’s hair is thriving, so I wanted to share our routine!

Step-By-Step How to Wash a Little Black Girl’s Hair

Step 1: Find a good spot to wash her hair.

I tried washing my daughter’s hair in the bathtub, but that was just not fun at all.

My back was hurting, she could never get comfortable, and it was just not a good option for us.

I started washing her hair in the kitchen sink, and it works out much better.

When she was smaller, she’d climb on the cabinet, and lean her head into the (sanitized) sink.

Now that she’s taller, she leans over the sink.

I’ve seen moms with younger children lean their high chair up against the sink backwards and have their daughter lean her head into the sink that way.

Different things work for different people, but just make sure whatever you decide isn’t uncomfortable for your little girl.

Step 2: Gather your tools.

Chefs call this mise en place when they’re cooking. That means to get all of the ingredients out that you are going to use, and have them handy so that you’re not searching all over for them.

When it comes to washing your little Black girl’s hair, make sure you have all of the tools gathered before you start.

Pull out your shampoo, conditioner, comb, oil, foaming lotion, towel. 

There’s nothing worse than having to wait for your mama to get a towel when there is water dripping down your face!

Tip: Wash hair once a week and see how healthy it gets!

Step 3: Shampoo the hair.

Now that you have all of your tools out, it’s time to shampoo the hair. Since my daughter’s hair is super thick, here’s how I do it.

I squeeze about a quarter of a handful of shampoo in my hand and massage it through her hair.

I’m really careful about making sure I clean around her hairline in the front and back, and especially in the dense middle part of her hair.

Make sure you rinse the shampoo out completely, otherwise it’ll sit on your her scalp, making flakes and causing itchiness.

I love Mielle Organics shampoo. 

It has really helped to soften and condition my daughter’s thick hair.

Once a month or so, you could add a clarifying shampoo to your routine as well. 

Step 4: Condition the hair.

Conditioning the hair is really important.

The shampoo strips a lot of the natural oils away, and the conditioner helps to start replacing those oils and seal the cuticles.

Massage the conditioner through the hair, avoiding the scalp as much as possible.

You can use a comb to start detangling during this time. 

I switch between a comb and a detangling brush

Start combing from the ends up, going slowly, and making sure to hold the section of hair your holding in your other hand so it doesn’t feel uncomfortable.

When you rinse the conditioner out of your little Black girl’s hair, rinse it out completely. 

I used to leave a little in, but learned that it’s better not to do that because it makes the hair dull over time. 

A conditioner that works really well for everyone in my family is Mielle Organics conditioner .

Step 5: Detangle and style the hair.

Ah, the last step of the hair washing process, and to us, it was the step that used to cause us the most grief.

Now, that I wash more frequently and use less products, it’s pretty much a breeze.

Here’s how I detangle:

  • Massage oil (we like avocado oil) and Nairobi Wrapp-It Shine Foaming Lotion throughout the hair.
  • Separate the hair into 4 sections, using sectioning clips to keep the hair up.
  • Comb through each section one at a time by starting at the bottom of the section of the hair that you’re combing with your wide tooth comb. Grip the piece super tight so that your little girl doesn’t feel like she’s getting her hair ripped out.
  • Comb through each section, then braid it until you’re finished with her whole head.
  • Take out the braids, put a little more oil on her hair, and style it. 

Keep a spray bottle of water near so that you can add moisture back into the hair if it starts drying out.

You don’t want to detangle dry hair or you can risk pulling it out. 

For more product ideas and to find everything you need to wash a little black girl’s hair, check out this all inclusive, super easy shopping list I created for you!

Other posts you might enjoy:

How to prepare your tween for her first period
Hygiene Lessons To Teach Your Daughter
Self Care Ideas For Moms and Daughters

25 responses to “How To Wash A Black Girl’s Hair”

  1. Amiyrah Avatar
    Amiyrah

    Talk about evergreen content! This post will be shared with EVERYONE in my family, and all of my friends with little brown girls. Excellent post, Brandi!

    1. BrandiJeter Avatar
      BrandiJeter

      Thank you, @Amiyrah:disqus! <3

  2. Still DatingMySpouse Avatar
    Still DatingMySpouse

    Haha love it. I was the little girl that hated getting my hair washed. I am afraid of getting water in my face so I like the fact that you said find the right spot!

    1. BrandiJeter Avatar
      BrandiJeter

      I totally was, too! I had a head full of hair with the nerve to be tenderheaded! Ayva is, too, and I try to remember that it hurts her more than it hurts me. Ha!

  3. Pammy Pam Avatar
    Pammy Pam

    oh my GOSH i hated those days of hair washing. If Ayva was anything like Angelica there was bound to be food, playdough, inches of playground sand and whatever in her hair. UGH!

    1. BrandiJeter Avatar
      BrandiJeter

      That’s about right, @Pamlovesbooks:disqus. Tan bark, glitter…all of that!

  4. Vaneese@MommyWorksALot Avatar
    Vaneese@MommyWorksALot

    :::Sigh::: I HATE washing Jordyn’s hair. I know I shouldn’t say that, but between my impatience, her tender-headness and all that hair on her head…Lord, it’s a process. Definitely a process. Whew…I need a drink just thinking about it. Question: I used to use coconut oil all the time on our hair when we lived in the South. Since moving to Nebraska, however, I’ve been less enthused to use it because of its solidifying properties. Did you notice that when you lived in a colder region? Thanks Brandi and great post!

    1. BrandiJeter Avatar
      BrandiJeter

      Hey @vaneesemommyworksalot:disqus! I feel you…it is definitely a process! So, for the coconut oil, it does solidify, even here in Northern Cali. I just rub it in my hands and warm it up before I put it on Ayva’s hair. It’s definitely a great cold weather moisturizer for hair!

    2. V Avatar
      V

      I’m exhausted just from reading this lol but thank you so much for this super valuable info!!

      1. brandijeter Avatar

        It’s a lot, but the more you take care of their hair, the easier it gets. I can wash, blow dry, and flat iron my daughter’s hair in about 90 minutes now!

  5. Arnebya Avatar
    Arnebya

    We never did the kitchen sink although I wanted to. My husband couldn’t get past hair in the kitchen drain/sink (whatever) so we stuck to the bathroom. And then the girls got too tall so then they’d kneel and MY BACK! So around 9 or so they both started washing their own. I’d go in with pointers or tips but they do a pretty good job. When they were younger, finding the right products helped a lot too (we’re still on a quest since everyone in the house has a different texture/various hair needs but it’s manageable. I do wish, though, that someone would have told me to invest in a good nozzle both in the shower and the kitchen.

    1. Arnebya Avatar
      Arnebya

      And I’m secretly happy that neither of my girls is tender headed. Amen and hallelujiah.

      1. BrandiJeter Avatar
        BrandiJeter

        Oh, you are SOOOO lucky, @Arnebya:disqus!

    2. BrandiJeter Avatar
      BrandiJeter

      Whoa!!! They were washing their own hair at 9??? That is seriously amazing! I think I started at 12 or so because I wasn’t feeling my stepmom’s hairwashing schedule, and I became really good at it. You are right, a good nozzle is definitely an investment to make if you have girls in the house.

  6. Mama Harris Avatar

    This is excellent information Brandi! 3-4 years ago I’d scour the net for tips, tricks, products, procedure and everything I could find on my little BOY’s biracial hair that we had styled into an afro. Even though he’s biracial, his hair was very difficult to deal with. Especially, as you said, that dense area in the middle. His front curls were long and fine, but the back was a completely different texture. Finding the right products for both hair textures and a proper hair care regimen was such a long process! His hair would look so beautiful until we’d go somewhere. Then the back of his hair would rub up on the carseat and he’d have that one section dry again!

    After many months and years of trial and error I finally got it dialed in. All for us to shave it all off last summer! We will be growing it back out this winter, and this post brings me back to that entire learning process! I love his hair and was so sad to see it shaved, but what a relief it’s been to be able to just get dressed and leave! I know I wouldn’t have that option if he was a little girl, and I was never about to let my kids hair be a mess!

    I love Ayva’s hair, it’s gorgeous in every photo you share. 🙂

    1. BrandiJeter Avatar
      BrandiJeter

      @mamaharris:disqus You know, that carseat hair is why I usually keep Ayva’s hair braided or twisted up! It would just get so matted down on trips! I’m glad you were able to find something that worked for your son, and I’m sure you’ll find something again this time around. It’s fun to learn and play in their hair, but GIRL…it is work! LOL!

  7. Brandon Avatar
    Brandon

    As a single father of a two year old girl, thank you because I have no idea but I’m gonna make it work

  8. Deb Roseman Avatar
    Deb Roseman

    Helping to care for my grand niece who’s 7 and I have people telling me to only wash her hair every 2 weeks instead of every 3 or 4 days. She plays hard and gets all sweaty and her hair gets gross and stinky after a few days. If I go thru these steps how often can I wash it without damaging it? I’ve been using a salon shampoo for dry hair and argon or coconut oil after conditioning. what would you recommend?

    1. brandijeter Avatar

      Hi Deb! You know what you can do? You can do a co-wash! Instead of using shampoo every time, wet the hair and use conditioner. Rub her scalp and massage the conditioner in, then rinse out. Children that are more active need their hair washed more frequently, but this will help it not to dry out!

  9. Rae Avatar

    This was helpful. I don’t have children of my own but work with children and am now in a position where I need to learn how to do little black girl hair. I am mixed myself with very very thick hair but it has never been course – so seeing these tricks helps….A LOT. I want to do my best to make this girl’s hair shine beautifully just like she is!

  10. Natural Hair Products Avatar

    she is so pretty! and by the way for conditioning it reminds me of my granny making home jojoba and coconut oil conditioner..

  11. Natural Hair Products Avatar

    she is so pretty! and by the way for conditioning it reminds me of my granny making home jojoba and coconut oil conditioner.. and we use that at least 2 or 3x a week..

  12. Deb Avatar
    Deb

    As a 56-year old white woman, I have NO experience with a little black girl’s hair! I married a wonderful black man with a beautiful 3-year-old granddaughter and now I have to learn! Thanks SO much! I’m sure you’ve saved us some tears!

  13. Kesha Avatar
    Kesha

    Thank you, Brandi. This article is superb. I appreciate the content of this article.

  14. Naomi Avatar
    Naomi

    I am 25 years old and never was fully taught how to correctly wash my hair or even what my hair would feel like had I used been using the right products. I really appreciated reading your article very informative and encouraging. Thank yoj

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