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Mama Knows It All

July 10, 2015 By brandijeter 45 Comments

Fly Mamas: A Look At Modern Black Motherhood

Filed Under: moms, motherhood, parenting

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Welcome BuzzFeed Folks! Thanks so much for coming to see more beautiful images of Black motherhood! Learn more about me on my About Me page. I’m a former single mother, kind of newlywed, pushy Bay Area girl. Get to know a sista!

A photo posted by Brandi Jeter Riley (@brandijeter) on Mar 30, 2015 at 3:14pm PDT

Motherhood sure does look different than when I was a kid. Back then, the moms I knew all seemed so old! I could never imagine being their age and doing all of the grown up things that they did like drinking coffee, paying bills, and (since it was the eighties and all) smoking cigarettes. I still don’t smoke, but I’ve got the coffee and bill paying down, so I guess I’m a real mom, huh? It’s funny to think that there were no mom blogs or websites to show women how to be mothers. Most of the parenting books were focused on the physical care of children, while now there’s a definite shift to nurturing the soul.

Black mothers have long been the default head of so many families, and much of how kids turn out becomes a reflection on how she handles that responsibility. It’s a big job. Add in the pressure of raising children in a world filled with prejudice and injustice, the deeply challenging history of Blacks in America, and kids being kids and it’s hard not to recognize the strength of our mothers. So much of the foundation of my parenting values were shaped by the women who raised me. They were hardworking and did the best they could to love and provide for my cousins, siblings and me. It had to be difficult, especially in the tumultuous eighties and nineties, but they did it, and we all made it through.

It’s different for Black moms these days. We are a lot more privileged in many ways. More of us are educated and have great jobs. Our children go to private schools, and we have an overal better quality of life. Our forefathers, uh, mothers, paved the way for that. What does Black motherhood look like these days? It’s more carefree, for sure. There’s more intentional quality time being spent because there are more distractions. We’re forced to schedule time together or it won’t happen. We’re more lenient with our children, allowing for questions and providing opportunities for discovery and self-realization. Basically we’re letting our kids get away with loose lips more frequently! We’re trying more things like yoga (!), smoothies (!), and only buying organic food. We done got bougie, y’all. 😉

Regardless of the differences, we have to pay homage to the women that came before us. If it wasn’t for the Black mothers making sacrifices for us to go to college, try out new things, and pushing us through barriers, there wouldn’t be nearly as many fly mamas. So, what does modern Black motherhood look like?      

We encourage our children to be true to themselves.

A photo posted by Amiyrah (@amiyrahm) on Apr 6, 2015 at 12:19pm PDT

 

We aren’t making dinner every night. Sometimes Mama needs a break, so we head to the drive through. We aren’t ashamed, either.

A photo posted by Keonte “Kea” Smith (@keonte) on May 29, 2015 at 3:44pm PDT

 

Time off? We don’t need time off. We just strap a baby to our chest (and sometimes one on our back, too) and keep it moving. Modern Black mothers know how to hustle.

A photo posted by addye_b (@addye_b) on May 13, 2015 at 12:37pm PDT

 

We’re removing the pressure to excel and giving our children the space to enjoy learning.

A photo posted by Rattles and Heels (@rattlesandheels) on Jun 11, 2015 at 6:11pm PDT

 

We aren’t worried about spoiling our children. They will be loved on at all times. Period.

A photo posted by MJ #hautemamaland (@fabhautemama) on Jun 24, 2015 at 8:15am PDT

 

Instead of sending them away when they come around, we draw them closer to us, even during “me time”.

A photo posted by M I M I/Lipgloss and Binky (@glossymimi) on May 25, 2015 at 4:54pm PDT

The real reason we take so many selfies is to sneak in snuggles.

A photo posted by Michelle (@divawithapurpose) on Jun 4, 2015 at 4:46am PDT

 

We’re passionate about taking our children new places and introducing them to new experiences.

A photo posted by Makeba Giles (@melisasource) on Jun 11, 2015 at 5:36pm PDT

We understand that we are modeling everything for our children. From fashion to faith and everything in between, we don’t take our task lightly.

A photo posted by MommyWeek {Ashley} (@mommyweek) on Jun 19, 2015 at 3:15pm PDT

 

We engage enthusiastically with the things our kids love. We want to encourage them!

A photo posted by Sojourner Marable Grimmett (@sojournerruth) on Jun 27, 2015 at 2:20pm PDT

We understand the value of a vacation and are taking our kids on more of them. Our little ones are jetsetters!

A photo posted by Joyce Brewer (@mommytalkshow) on May 7, 2015 at 9:22am PDT

 

Creating special memories is important. We get that, and never miss a moment to create a memory.

A photo posted by Elliot & Mandi Buckner (@thebucknerchefs) on Jun 26, 2015 at 8:29pm PDT

We know the challenges our children have to face in society, and we choose to be their bright spot and allies.

A photo posted by Natasha Nicholes (@natashanicholes) on May 17, 2015 at 12:25pm PDT

 

We aren’t worried about getting our hair wet or getting dirty. If it’s fun, we’re doing it.

A photo posted by Roshini Cope (@glamazini) on Jun 4, 2015 at 3:10pm PDT

We embrace technology and appreciate it for the way it helps us to connect with our kids.

A photo posted by LaShawn (@lashawnwiltz) on Jan 26, 2015 at 5:21pm PST

 

We show affection, and lots of it, because we see how much it fills our children up.

A photo posted by Laila (@lailamccloud) on Jan 22, 2015 at 6:45pm PST

 

We’re okay with being friends with our children. Yeah, we’re mom first, but we are definitely friends.

  A photo posted by Jennifer Borget (@babymakingmachine) on Jun 10, 2015 at 6:49am PDT

 

We know our children are watching us, so we make sure we smile. A lot.

A photo posted by Amber (@fromcarpools2cocktails) on May 7, 2015 at 1:24pm PDT

 

We take our children places when they’re young. We want them to be used to having adventures!

  A photo posted by Nae Staggs (@ichoosethesun) on May 16, 2015 at 10:47am PDT

 

We don’t mind getting goofy with our kids. It’s important that we have fun together.

A photo posted by thedudemom (@thedudemom) on Jul 9, 2015 at 11:21am PDT

 

We show confidence in front of our children. We can’t teach them to love who they are if they don’t witness our acceptance of our own selves.

  A photo posted by Jasmine Banks (@djazzo) on Jul 4, 2015 at 3:40pm PDT

We are naturally beautiful, and know that outward beauty is influenced by the soul. 

A photo posted by Sheena Tatum (@sheenatatum) on Jun 28, 2015 at 5:42pm PDT

 

We are active and move! We don’t let being a mom stop us from being fit and staying fly.

  A photo posted by Deanna Underwood (@mommy_gaga) on Mar 17, 2015 at 7:33pm PDT

We never stay put. We’re always going somewhere with our little roadies next to us!

A photo posted by Vaneese Morris (@vaneese.morris) on Oct 25, 2014 at 1:37pm PDT

  We encourage our kids to have BIG dreams.

A photo posted by alejandra (@msalexandrav) on May 22, 2015 at 3:49pm PDT

 

Sometimes, though, we don’t encourage. We just take the time to BE with our kids.

  A photo posted by Tara Jefferson (@tarajefferson) on Jun 22, 2015 at 2:27pm PDT

No matter what we do or where we go, the fact remains the same—everything we do is for them.

A photo posted by D A N I E L L E F A U S T (@thedanifaust) on Jun 2, 2015 at 5:58am PDT

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Karla T says

    July 10, 2015 at 9:57 am

    Thank you so much for including me in this wonderful piece. I am honored.

    Reply
    • brandijeter says

      July 11, 2015 at 10:11 pm

      You inspire me, Karla!

      Reply
  2. Joyce Brewer (@MommyTalkShow) says

    July 10, 2015 at 10:52 am

    Tears. Seriously. All of this chocolatey-goodness in parenting is beautiful to see.
    Thank you for including me and A.J.

    Reply
    • brandijeter says

      July 11, 2015 at 10:10 pm

      I had to put my favorite little reader! 🙂

      Reply
  3. Lynda says

    July 10, 2015 at 11:08 am

    ❤️

    Reply
    • brandijeter says

      July 11, 2015 at 10:10 pm

      Back at you, Boo!

      Reply
  4. Adanna says

    July 10, 2015 at 11:24 am

    This post is EVERYTHING! Inspiring, cute and well one I will come back to when my kids have me up agains the wall to see these gorgeous mamas and babies and that photo of dude mom dancing. Thanks for including my tribe. xo

    Reply
    • brandijeter says

      July 11, 2015 at 10:10 pm

      That picture of y’all in the park? SOOOO SWEET! <3

      Reply
  5. Mimi says

    July 10, 2015 at 12:39 pm

    Oh Brandi!! Thank you so much for including me on this awesome round up of moms. We are excluded so often and it feels good to be recognized! Thank you!

    Now off to follow all of these awesome Mamas that I wasn’t already following!

    Reply
    • brandijeter says

      July 11, 2015 at 10:09 pm

      You are so welcome! Thank you for sharing your mama journey with folks! It’s inspiring!

      Reply
  6. Danielle says

    July 10, 2015 at 1:03 pm

    Awesome! So touching, accurate, and is the story of so many “fly mamas” I know. Thank you for sharing our joys of lives as African American mothers.

    Reply
    • brandijeter says

      July 11, 2015 at 10:09 pm

      Thank you, Danielle! 🙂

      Reply
  7. LaShawn says

    July 10, 2015 at 1:20 pm

    This bought me to tears on a day when I felt like I was failing at motherhood! Thank you so much for including me!

    Reply
    • brandijeter says

      July 11, 2015 at 10:09 pm

      Aww, Mama! You are doing alright! I feel like that sometimes, too, but we got this!

      Reply
  8. K. Elizabeth (YUMMommy) says

    July 10, 2015 at 1:23 pm

    Such a beautiful post celebrating Black motherhood! We’re more than just our children’s parents. We’re their teachers, biggest cheerleaders, role models and so much more. It’s so great to see all of these many faces of the modern Black mom.

    Reply
    • brandijeter says

      July 11, 2015 at 10:08 pm

      We absolutely are those things, K. Elizabeth! Yes!!

      Reply
  9. Sheena Tatum says

    July 10, 2015 at 3:18 pm

    Every.single.quote had me about to fist bump the screen! So much truth. SO MUCH. Thank you for celebrating modern black motherhood and for featuring me and my sugas. *sniffle*

    Reply
    • brandijeter says

      July 11, 2015 at 10:08 pm

      YES to mama truth! Fist bump back at you, Sister!

      Reply
  10. Sarah Hughes says

    July 10, 2015 at 3:48 pm

    A stunning look at motherhood!

    Reply
    • brandijeter says

      July 11, 2015 at 10:07 pm

      Thank you, Sarah! Such a sweet comment!

      Reply
  11. Daenel T says

    July 10, 2015 at 7:47 pm

    Absolutely love this post. What a lovely way to honor the mothers we were, we have become and we are becoming.

    Reply
    • brandijeter says

      July 11, 2015 at 10:07 pm

      Thank you, Daenel! Other mothers really inspire me so much!

      Reply
  12. Sherika W says

    July 11, 2015 at 6:45 am

    This is a wonderful article!

    Reply
    • brandijeter says

      July 11, 2015 at 10:07 pm

      Thank you, Sherika!

      Reply
  13. Jennifer aka Baby Making Machine says

    July 12, 2015 at 3:20 pm

    I was tearing up reading this and seeing all this BEAUTY. How do I know so many of these faces. And yes! The quotes. Just when I’m feeling like I’m lacking (because goodness we have those days too) I read this pic me up. Thank you! Seeing myself and my baby girl was such a sweet surprise too. Love ya mama.

    Reply
  14. bernetta says

    July 13, 2015 at 7:06 am

    Love all the love in those images. So cool I know so many of the moms.

    Reply
  15. Nichole says

    July 13, 2015 at 7:27 am

    A beautiful compilation to read. You mamas are paving the way in ways that will be even more widespread than what your mothers did for you. The people that you influence will be (and are) exponentially *more* than those women of 20, 30, 40 years ago.

    Reply
  16. Jalyssa says

    July 13, 2015 at 12:46 pm

    Beautiful mamas!

    Reply
  17. Trina - Baby Shopaholic says

    July 13, 2015 at 8:32 pm

    Great post! Thank for including me! XO

    Reply
  18. Heather H says

    July 14, 2015 at 8:42 am

    This made my week! This was so beautiful:) So honored to know several of these mamas and call them friends. LOVE IT!

    Reply
  19. MJ says

    July 19, 2015 at 2:15 pm

    Late last week a friend mentioned me being on this list. I had no idea as new motherhood plus toddler motherhood has me consumed. I thank you for including me. It’s been hard adjusting but see all these beautiful moms rocking it lets me know I’m doing just fine. I am inspired, motivated and encouraged by so many on this list in real life and in my online travels.

    Reply
  20. daphne r says

    July 19, 2015 at 5:40 pm

    I’m a 2nd Mom to my 3rd cousin. She is 6 months.

    Reply
  21. Stephanie says

    July 20, 2015 at 10:26 am

    I found your article through Buzzfeed and I’m glad I came over to check it out.

    You’re right, we got to pay homage to our mothers! They may not have taken us on all the adventures we take with our kids and given us all the freedoms we give our children now, they must have done something right because their training helped us become who we are now.

    I hope to strike some kind of balance between new school and old school with my children.

    Reply
  22. Kenesha says

    July 20, 2015 at 3:04 pm

    I absolutely LOVE this! Such a beautiful look at black motherhood and being a mama of 3 rambunctious boys, I could totally relate!

    Reply
    • brandijeter says

      July 26, 2015 at 10:42 am

      Thank you, Kenesha! Three boys??? I know your house is full of laughter and fun! <3

      Reply
  23. Kescherer says

    July 20, 2015 at 10:04 pm

    I’m late to party post but I’m glad I got to read it tonight. I’m the older, 80’s MTV first video watching era with my brothers, but raising my daughter today I’ve tried to follow my mother and grandmother’s examples. Yes it’s different in 2015 but being 12 in 1982 wasn’t bad either. Funny with all the technology my Little Miss is exposed to, she’s very emotionally attached to me, more so than I was with my mother at that age. Keep blogging and as my ATL mommy talk blogger said below/above my comment, keep bringing all that chocolatey mommy goodness!

    Reply
    • brandijeter says

      July 26, 2015 at 10:42 am

      I agree with this! I’m so thankful for the emotional attachment. I feel extremely close to my daughter, too! Thanks so much for the comment!

      Reply
  24. Taby says

    July 21, 2015 at 11:30 am

    Found you via HuffPost Women; this is beautiful!! <3

    Reply
    • brandijeter says

      July 26, 2015 at 10:41 am

      Thank you so much!

      Reply
  25. Sparkle S says

    July 22, 2015 at 10:03 am

    Awesome post. I totally relate. thank you!!
    Black moms rock!

    Reply
    • brandijeter says

      July 26, 2015 at 10:40 am

      Thank you so much! We DO rock!

      Reply
  26. @MsEnglish1 says

    July 23, 2015 at 12:49 pm

    Peace Sis! Thanks so much for posting this. I’m a new Mom, only 27 weeks along. I’ve noticed that melanated Motherhood is under-represented in the majority of mainstream imaging, including media, pregnancy apps and baby shower invitations (by design of course). I love that you’ve captured something that we’re known to do best and shared it via your website – and especially with this post. Thanks for sharing images that encourage our Sisters that Motherhood is not the horrible experience that American society wants us to believe it is. Peace, Love & Light!

    Reply
    • brandijeter says

      July 26, 2015 at 10:40 am

      Welcome to motherhood! Thanks so much for your sweet comment. Be encouraged, and get ready for the most important, most fulfilling job of your life!

      Reply
  27. Shannon says

    August 1, 2016 at 6:16 pm

    I love this beautiful post. Thank you for your inspiring blog. Great writing, provocative topics.

    Reply

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