Welcome BuzzFeed Folks! Thanks so much for coming to see more beautiful images of Black motherhood! Learn more about me on my About Me page. I’m a former single mother, kind of newlywed, pushy Bay Area girl. Get to know a sista!
Motherhood sure does look different than when I was a kid. Back then, the moms I knew all seemed so old! I could never imagine being their age and doing all of the grown up things that they did like drinking coffee, paying bills, and (since it was the eighties and all) smoking cigarettes. I still don’t smoke, but I’ve got the coffee and bill paying down, so I guess I’m a real mom, huh? It’s funny to think that there were no mom blogs or websites to show women how to be mothers. Most of the parenting books were focused on the physical care of children, while now there’s a definite shift to nurturing the soul.
Black mothers have long been the default head of so many families, and much of how kids turn out becomes a reflection on how she handles that responsibility. It’s a big job. Add in the pressure of raising children in a world filled with prejudice and injustice, the deeply challenging history of Blacks in America, and kids being kids and it’s hard not to recognize the strength of our mothers. So much of the foundation of my parenting values were shaped by the women who raised me. They were hardworking and did the best they could to love and provide for my cousins, siblings and me. It had to be difficult, especially in the tumultuous eighties and nineties, but they did it, and we all made it through.
It’s different for Black moms these days. We are a lot more privileged in many ways. More of us are educated and have great jobs. Our children go to private schools, and we have an overal better quality of life. Our forefathers, uh, mothers, paved the way for that. What does Black motherhood look like these days? It’s more carefree, for sure. There’s more intentional quality time being spent because there are more distractions. We’re forced to schedule time together or it won’t happen. We’re more lenient with our children, allowing for questions and providing opportunities for discovery and self-realization. Basically we’re letting our kids get away with loose lips more frequently! We’re trying more things like yoga (!), smoothies (!), and only buying organic food. We done got bougie, y’all. 😉
Regardless of the differences, we have to pay homage to the women that came before us. If it wasn’t for the Black mothers making sacrifices for us to go to college, try out new things, and pushing us through barriers, there wouldn’t be nearly as many fly mamas. So, what does modern Black motherhood look like?
We encourage our children to be true to themselves.
We aren’t making dinner every night. Sometimes Mama needs a break, so we head to the drive through. We aren’t ashamed, either.
Time off? We don’t need time off. We just strap a baby to our chest (and sometimes one on our back, too) and keep it moving. Modern Black mothers know how to hustle.
We’re removing the pressure to excel and giving our children the space to enjoy learning.
We aren’t worried about spoiling our children. They will be loved on at all times. Period.
Instead of sending them away when they come around, we draw them closer to us, even during “me time”.
The real reason we take so many selfies is to sneak in snuggles.
We’re passionate about taking our children new places and introducing them to new experiences.
We understand that we are modeling everything for our children. From fashion to faith and everything in between, we don’t take our task lightly.
We engage enthusiastically with the things our kids love. We want to encourage them!
We understand the value of a vacation and are taking our kids on more of them. Our little ones are jetsetters!
Creating special memories is important. We get that, and never miss a moment to create a memory.
We know the challenges our children have to face in society, and we choose to be their bright spot and allies.
We aren’t worried about getting our hair wet or getting dirty. If it’s fun, we’re doing it.
We embrace technology and appreciate it for the way it helps us to connect with our kids.
We show affection, and lots of it, because we see how much it fills our children up.
We’re okay with being friends with our children. Yeah, we’re mom first, but we are definitely friends.
We know our children are watching us, so we make sure we smile. A lot.
We take our children places when they’re young. We want them to be used to having adventures!
We don’t mind getting goofy with our kids. It’s important that we have fun together.
We show confidence in front of our children. We can’t teach them to love who they are if they don’t witness our acceptance of our own selves.
We are naturally beautiful, and know that outward beauty is influenced by the soul.
We are active and move! We don’t let being a mom stop us from being fit and staying fly.
We never stay put. We’re always going somewhere with our little roadies next to us!
We encourage our kids to have BIG dreams.
Sometimes, though, we don’t encourage. We just take the time to BE with our kids.
No matter what we do or where we go, the fact remains the same—everything we do is for them.
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Shannon
Monday 1st of August 2016
I love this beautiful post. Thank you for your inspiring blog. Great writing, provocative topics.
@MsEnglish1
Thursday 23rd of July 2015
Peace Sis! Thanks so much for posting this. I'm a new Mom, only 27 weeks along. I've noticed that melanated Motherhood is under-represented in the majority of mainstream imaging, including media, pregnancy apps and baby shower invitations (by design of course). I love that you've captured something that we're known to do best and shared it via your website - and especially with this post. Thanks for sharing images that encourage our Sisters that Motherhood is not the horrible experience that American society wants us to believe it is. Peace, Love & Light!
brandijeter
Sunday 26th of July 2015
Welcome to motherhood! Thanks so much for your sweet comment. Be encouraged, and get ready for the most important, most fulfilling job of your life!
Sparkle S
Wednesday 22nd of July 2015
Awesome post. I totally relate. thank you!! Black moms rock!
brandijeter
Sunday 26th of July 2015
Thank you so much! We DO rock!
Taby
Tuesday 21st of July 2015
Found you via HuffPost Women; this is beautiful!! <3
brandijeter
Sunday 26th of July 2015
Thank you so much!
Kescherer
Monday 20th of July 2015
I'm late to party post but I'm glad I got to read it tonight. I'm the older, 80's MTV first video watching era with my brothers, but raising my daughter today I've tried to follow my mother and grandmother's examples. Yes it's different in 2015 but being 12 in 1982 wasn't bad either. Funny with all the technology my Little Miss is exposed to, she's very emotionally attached to me, more so than I was with my mother at that age. Keep blogging and as my ATL mommy talk blogger said below/above my comment, keep bringing all that chocolatey mommy goodness!
brandijeter
Sunday 26th of July 2015
I agree with this! I'm so thankful for the emotional attachment. I feel extremely close to my daughter, too! Thanks so much for the comment!