Anybody that knows Ayva and me know that we love being on the move! From the time she was a tiny baby up to now, she’s been my roadie for the last few years. Once I started blogging and writing about our adventures, forget about it. We were up and down the road creating blog-worthy experiences and pinnable moments. I feel incredibly blessed for the opportunities that we’ve been able to have because of my work, and they have really enhanced our lives.
You know what, though? Every mom moment doesn’t have to be blogged. Last night, Terrence had to work late and Ayva and I were able to get some quality girl time in. I caught up on her life with some lively conversation, put together puzzles, and discovered more about the type of houses that children around the world live in thanks to a new library book. The thing about last night that was different than many other nights of our Ayva/Mommy time is that I didn’t have the camera out, or my phone near to snap a pictures and post our time together on Instagram. (Of course, I am writing about it now. I’m a blogger. I can’t help myself.)
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Honestly, even more than wanting to record our times together to create a blog post, I worry about forgetting something. I mean, she’s growing up so quickly! Even though folks warned me, I had no idea these years would go by so fast. Already, there are so many memories from when she was little that kind of sneak up on me when I’m not expecting it. Memories of sweet moments, or precious looks that made me melt as a new mom, and that still have the same effect now. I don’t want to lose any memories, y’all. So, I carry my camera everywhere I go, and have my phone in my hand on every outing.
Can I just tell you…it’s exhausting.
Yesterday, though, it was different. I decided to do quality time like they did it in the olden days. Sans expensive digital camera. Sans incredibly intelligent smart phone. Sans my Instagram followers and Facebook friends. Just Ayva and me. Y’all…she noticed. Ayva could tell that she had 100% of my focus, and she opened up even more than usual, and got comfortable because she didn’t have to be on for Mommy Paparazzi. She asked more questions, and was way more calm than usual, not even getting upset when we had a hard time putting together one of the more challenging puzzles.
When it was time for bedtime, because she had received all of the attention that she wanted and needed, she went without any complaint. Even when I realized I had sent her to bed too early (What can I say? I thought it was way later than 6!), she was content to stay in her bed, falling asleep in just a few minutes.
What lesson does this teach me? Every waking moment doesn’t need to be blogged. Sometimes I just need to be with Ayva. Turn everything off, clear my mind, and give my child the one thing that she needs the most—attention. Forget about Pinterest, forget about blog post pageviews, and put the quality back into quality time. And so what if ten years from now I forget about this one evening because there aren’t 60 pictures documenting it? Hopefully, twenty years from now, the memory will come back, out of nowhere, and make me smile.
Rachee
Sunday 27th of April 2014
This post. I find that I am trying to stage the perfect moment instead of letting it be. Love that you and Ayva are able to inspire me.
BrandiJeter
Sunday 27th of April 2014
I am HUMBLED that we are able to inspire you. Thank you, @rungirl1:disqus!
Censie 'Mumby' Sawyer
Thursday 24th of April 2014
Unplugging when a blogger is hard but so worth it. Beautiful post. Thank you for sharing!
BrandiJeter
Sunday 27th of April 2014
It's hard, but when we do it, the rewards are so much greater than anything blogging could ever give us. I keep reminding myself of that! <3
Alissa Boyle
Thursday 24th of April 2014
Beautiful post, Brandi. Some of my favorite moments are the ones without the camera/phone/etc. I'm getting better at unplugging and soaking in those moments, but like you, I worry about forgetting them myself. I just have to trust that those memories will live in my heart, even when they're gone from my head - and I hope that will also be true for my kids. You're right. I can tell a distinct difference when they're "on" for the camera and when they're just comfortably enjoying our quality time together.
BrandiJeter
Sunday 27th of April 2014
@alissaboyle:disqus Isn't it funny how different the lives of "blogger kids" are compared to what life was like when WE grew up? There are so many perks, but yes, the unplugging becomes a fantastic chance to getaway (from the noise) and reconnect.
JanetGoingCrazy
Wednesday 23rd of April 2014
I have gotten so much into the quality time with my boy and my husband that they sometimes have to remind me that I might want to take a picture. I used to snap everything and now I only snap for my family and myself. If I can later use it in a blog post, then great! It's hard to blog it all without all the pics, but I enjoy so much the time spent together that it's worth it to me.
BrandiJeter
Thursday 24th of April 2014
Oh, Janet! That is really good that you're able to get that quality time in! That's what my goal is over the next few months. More engagement, less pictures!
Janeane Davis
Wednesday 23rd of April 2014
This was such a sweet post. I don't blog about my personal life so I am blessed not to have that problem. I work at home and when I decided to work only when my kids were at school or asleep it made a big difference because when they see me, they know that I actually SEE them. Our children are precious and notice when we treat the like a treasure and when we treat then like a prop.
BrandiJeter
Thursday 24th of April 2014
Oooooh, @janeanedavis:disqus! You just said something there, "...when we treat them like a prop". So true, and it stings because I've done that before. But, when you know better, you do better. I'm just grateful for the chance to improve!