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Going from one to two kids was harder than I thought

Going from one to two kids is a huge parenting eye opener!
going from one to two kids

I was a mom of one child for nearly 8 years before my son was born.

My daughter was the most chill baby, a pretty easygoing toddler, and has been a low maintenance kid so far.

Any issues or challenges that she had, I was able to delve right into immediately.

I could devote all of my energy, all of my resources, and all of my time to raising her and helping her to get what she needs.

I didn’t realize how spoiled I was.

Parenting, no matter how many children you have, is going to be a challenge.

It’s hard work to raise a tiny human into a big human.

By the time your kid leaves your house for college, the expectation is that the parents have poured enough into them that they won’t go into the world and act a fool.

As I’ve discovered about myself, nearly a year into having two children, is that I was a lot more confident in my ability to raise non-fools when I had only one kid.

This second one is stretching me, y’all.

going from one kid to two

I don’t know how other moms do it

Going from one to two kids was not what I was expecting.

Those of you with more than one kid, some of you with more than two, or three, or FOUR, how do you do it?

I used to take for granted how much I was able to do when I only had my daughter.

I never considered that having more than one child meant that you had to divide your time and energy.

It didn’t occur to me that when you have so many other people to take care of that sometimes your best is just done.

Looking back, there are plenty of times that I’ve judged other moms.

Why aren’t her kids dressed? Why is she always canceling plans? How come she lets her children act like that?

I get it now.

Her kids aren’t dressed because it wasn’t a battle she was willing to devote energy into fighting.

She cancels plans because when she finally gets a moment to herself, sometimes she just wants to stay home, in her bed by herself, watching television and eating a snack without having to share.

Her kids act like that because she’s already spent the rest of the day disciplining and redirecting. She’s done at this point.

My apology to moms with more than one kid

I owe y’all an apology, moms of more than one child. I thought I knew your life. Going from one to two kids, though, I realize I didn’t know what you were going through at all.

We’re all moms. Surely, it couldn’t be that different for us. Now that I’m in the thick of it, this parenting two children thing, I understand how wrong I was.

Please forgive me, Mamas. Please know that I didn’t realize how hard you worked. Part of it was because I was in my own little perfect mom of one world and couldn’t see your side of things. I see you. I respect you. And I have just one question for you.

Teach me?

Other posts you might enjoy:

This is my last baby
Moms can be exhausted and happy at the same time
Some of the best parenting advice comes from social media

Andrea Updyke

Friday 23rd of March 2018

We stopped after two for various reasons, so I don’t know about having more than two. But I can tell you the transition from 1 to 2 kids rocked my world and it still does years later. I had no idea what a difference it would be until it happened and I think it’s like that for most of us. All I can say is be gracious with yourself and choose your battles. There are so few things Worth dying for. And hang in there!

Cyn Gagen

Friday 23rd of March 2018

There were times my daughter was so easy and chill. There were other times I worried that I had misplaced her and that some terrifyingly difficult child who looked just like her had come home with me instead. I've always looked at people who had more than one child and thought, good heavens where do you find the energy to deal with more than one? LOL But had my daughter stayed in that chill phase pretty much forever, I would easily have ended up where you were. It's okay. We all do that sometimes when we don't have the needed perspective. :)

PS - you're doing great. You were a great mom of one. You're a great mom of two. <3

Kenya @Kenya Rae

Friday 23rd of March 2018

Lol. I feel every word of this. Even five years later. My kids are ten years apart and when my son was two my nephew came to live with us taking me to THREE!!!! Jesus!