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All That Matters

All That Matters

I’ve taken a lot of crap in my life. Disrespect. Discrimination. There have been times when I’ve continued in relationships where I had to minimize myself, or jobs where I felt that I was stuck even though I was being mistreated. I’ve second guessed and short changed myself. Lowered my expectations. Been in situations where I was […]

Overcoming Perfection (Oh, and I wrote a book.)

Overcoming Perfection - Mama Knows It All

I remember the exact moment I became a perfectionist. I was in college, working part-time as an administrative assistant at a large pharmaceutical company. It was in the late 90’s when the economy was booming, and everyone with “manager” in their title had a secretary whether they needed it or not. My boss did not […]

Why Are You Afraid To Be Great?

Why Are You Afraid To Be Great?

My friend Yolonda asked me a question the other day that I’ve been pondering this entire weekend. She said to me, “Why are you afraid to be great?” It’s not something that I hadn’t thought of before, but having a friend ask me that in a middle of a conversation where I was sharing an idea […]

How To Be A Better Friend In 20 Minutes Or Less

How To Be A Better Friend In 20 Minutes Or Less

In my twenties, I was a way better friend than I am now. Back then, things were much more simple. There was no child and no husband. I had a lot more energy, and I think, although I can’t prove it for a fact, that there were more hours in the day. My girlfriends and […]

My Maya Angelou Memory

Phenomenal Woman

It’s one of those memories that I had forgotten about until just today. When I woke up this morning, and learned that Dr. Maya Angelou had passed, I was immediately taken back to my 9th grade talent show. I was in Philadelphia at the time, and my friends and I performed Angelou’s “Phenomenal Woman” in […]

Preschool Is Ending. Hold Me.

Preschool Girl and science

In a couple of short weeks, we’ll be closing the chapter on one of the most fun, most challenging chapters of Ayva’s life. She’ll be finishing up preschool and heading to kindergarten in the fall. Is this outrageous or what? I’m just getting used to being the mother of a preschooler and now, grade school? […]

Plug In, Mama: Set Some Boundaries

Plug In Mama - Set Some Boundaries

There was a time not too long ago when I was at my employers beck and call. I was working as a contractor, and would answer the phone anytime day or night, weekdays or weekend. Whenever I received a a work related email, I would drop what I was doing to answer, and I can’t […]

Plug In, Mama: Analyzing Motherhood

Plug In Mama: Day 1 - Analyzing Motherhood

The entire time I was pregnant with Ayva, in addition to working full-time and teaching part-time, I also took part in a 9 month fellowship at the University of Pennsylvania. The fellowship was for Educators and Administrators in Out of School Time programs, and focused on the practice of using practitioner inquiry to better our […]

Seeds, Thorns, and Folks Who Don’t Like Me

Seeds, Thorns, and Folks Who Don't Like Me

Over the last month, a former social media “friend” has been going to different people that I know and telling them what a terrible person I am. She’s been warning them to stay away from me, and speaking bad about Pushing Lovely, the authentic writer support group of which I am a co-founder. I don’t know […]

Reinventing The Feel #NakedMoms

Reinventing The Feel #NakedMoms

I can remember the exact moment I changed from being Brandi to Brandi, Ayva’s Mom. It was on the day of my ultrasound to determine my unborn child’s gender. When I heard the words, “It’s a girl!”, my life was forever changed. My heart exploded, the agape love switch turned on in my brain, and […]