My friend Yolonda asked me a question the other day that I’ve been pondering this entire weekend. She said to me, “Why are you afraid to be great?” It’s not something that I hadn’t thought of before, but having a friend ask me that in a middle of a conversation where I was sharing an idea and asking for advice, really made me take pause. If other folks are recognizing the struggle that I have with myself often, it’s kind of getting out of hand, right? That’s a sign that something has to change, I have to do something differently.
Let me give y’all a little background. I’m not someone with a low self-esteem who doesn’t believe that I can achieve greatness. I’m even past the point where I used think I didn’t deserve to be successful, or wasn’t worthy of respect. Thanks to a lot of time, energy, and years of self reflection, all of those things have been worked out already. So what’s up, then? Why am I still not taking that step to take myself and my work to the next level? Why do I still make choices that keep me solidly at mediocre, rather than propel me into mastery? Why am I afraid to be great?
After several days of intentionally thinking about it, I finally have an answer. The problem is, I’m basing my future on my human capabilities. I can do this, but I can’t do that. Instead of having faith in the skills and the purpose that God has given me, I’m making decisions that are hinged on what I can do for myself. Looking back at some of the decisions I made when I was operating without direction from Him, I can attest to the fact that I don’t need to be taking any steps forward on my own. It just never, ever, EVER works out well.
How ridiculous is it that I would choose to be just okay when I have the chance to do more, help more, be more? How crazy is it to be fearful of achieving goals and finding success? I mean, just about every day, I look at someone else and think, “She really could be great.” I wonder how many folks are looking at me and thinking the same thing?
I don’t need another business course, or book. No websites, articles, or conference can teach me what I need about the next step for my future. Instead, I’m going to spend the summer getting reacquainted with the Word, and reflecting on the ways that faith and grace have manifested in my life.
I’m too blessed to just be good, y’all.
I’m not afraid.