Last year around Mother’s Day, things were very different. Life was so stressful for me, and my mother, the one person that I wanted to be able to depend on, just wasn’t able to be there for me. After years of being sober, she has started to struggle with alcohol addiction again, and the mom I used to know was gone. Last year was also the first time that I shared publicly how I’d felt deserted and alone because of her addiction. I didn’t know it then, but baring my soul like that in the Listen to Your Mother show was the first step on my road to forgiveness.
What a difference a year makes.
By the grace of God, my mother is sober again. She has gone through a rehabilitation program, and is working not one, but two, new jobs, and she and I are both working to heal. Over the last year, those feelings of hurt that I had transitioned into anger, and then I just stopped caring. Once that happened, I knew I needed to ask God to help me to forgive my mother. I prayed for Him to help me to humble myself, to stop thinking about my own needs, and consider what it was that she needed. It took a few months, but eventually He opened my heart and a few weeks ago, I texted my mom:
Hey Mom. Let’s just forgive each other for everything and try to start fresh. You want to?
So, we’re starting fresh. We’re working on becoming friends again. I am trying to learn to trust her again, and I am sure she is trying to figure out how to navigate this new relationship with me as well. I don’t hate my mother. I love her. I always did. I just wanted my Mom back, you know? I’m going to keep praying that this time, she’s back for good.